Because the body and its natural sexual desires can not be trusted. Instead of learning to trust their body and listening to what he/she finds sexually appealing, those feelings are repressed. This concept or belief further alienates the Christian from their own body. That we as a whole are sinful Therefore we cannot trust our bodies as they are inherently evil. This is a concept constantly spoken of in the evangelical church. That Christian must deny their own sexual desires and feelings, suffering physically for g-d for spiritual and eternal benefits. It has also been suggested that repressing of sexual desires also leads to higher rates of vaginismus and erectile dysfunction.Īlso this whole concept brings up another idea altogether: the idea that we can not trust our own bodies or natural feelings., because this is the at the core of this idea. These feelings often do not end after marriage. Repression of sexual desires also generally increases thoughts of shame and guilt regarding sex. The more these desires are regulated and controlled the more they come out in secretive ways, or even cause an increased focus on sexual desires. Research has shown that in bible belt states porn use is much higher, while it is much lower in less religious states. Especially the idea that repressing your sexuality is healthy or normal. She states that all that are unwilling to commit to “self-denial” are “without honor.” And demands that we be willing to “swim against the tide.”Īnd may I also dwell on this point a bit. I’ve noticed a trend where the author dismisses arguments to her position with a simple hand wave. Christians who buy such rubbish today are without honor.” p125 ‘How can anything that feels so good be so bad?’ ‘Intimacy is an act of worship.’ ‘Denying yourself the expression of that desire is dangerous – it’s repression, it’ll lead to perversion and so on.’ ‘Nobody can control all that fire when he is young.’ Lies, all of them. “It is a powerful lie that, because sexual desire is natural, healthy, and god-given, anything I do because of that desire is natural, healthy, and god-given. But alas as she states, “We are stuck within our ill-defined system.” Also throw in a lovely statement about how a local Canadian Indian tribe didn’t have marital problems until “they began to follow the white man'” and gave up arranged marriages. Suggesting that wiser older people are able to better chose a mate for you. She even goes on a tangent suggesting a return to arranged marriages. The author makes it clear that observation alone is enough to judge a person by. “Intimacy is not necessary.” Dang, what a quote to open up with. Okay I’ll get back to the regularly scheduled content. And the more you separate this aspect of you from your person the harder it is to re-connect with. Closing yourself off sexually is not a healthy thing. ![]() She implies that they gave up physical contact because of this. So to avoid this, they completely avoided anything that stirred those desires. ![]() Elisabeth shares how she and Jim early on decided that they felt strong urges to giving into their sexual desires. Stating that this small amount of contact “awakened” his sexual desires.Īll of these desires are portrayed as dangerous and wrong. ![]() Elisabeth states that the contact Jim refers to was: holding arms, sitting close together, and her touching Jim’s hair. Jim writes of having his appetite “whetted” and regretting the physical contact that they did have. “Total abstention from sexual activity outside of marriage and total faithfulness inside of marriage. Which the author outright declares off limits for any Christian couple. This chapter is devoted towards setting up the “rules” when it comes to sex within a dating relationship.
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